IRAN -- NUKE 'EM WHILE WE HAVE THE CHANCE!! NORTH KOREA IS GETTING TIRED OF WAITING THEIR TURN.

Due to all the mounting tensions over, uh, who is it this time, yeah, Iran, I feel it is time to take action NOW. If we wait for the United Nations or any other political body other than our own, which is the most god-fearing and righteous anyway, then everybody will be mad at us when we take the inevitable next step, which is to spend trillions of dollars and thousands of troops playing "army man". The DOW closed 200 points down today over fears of inflation and the wars. The prime minister of finance has decreed that we will not spiral into inflation, but folks, I don't know how else we're gonna pay for this next one, unless the dollar splits, 2-to-1.

I said this before, and I'll say it again now. A couple or 3 well-placed nukes and it's over before it ever gets off the ground.

But if we have to do it the hard way, here's some good news:

Boeing has unveiled a new line of designer bombs. These babies weigh about 250 pounds and come in a number of different configurations, so all major bombers can use them. What's more, since they are relatively small and lightweight, each bomber can carry more. According to what I read, these bombs kill on average less civilians than any other bomb. So one big bomb kills lots of civilians, whereas a lot of small bombs, well, uh, you do the math.

SEIG HEIL!! HEIL BUSH!!

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