TERRORISTS CAPTURED PLOTTING MAYHEM ON A SMALL SCALE

Three terrorists have just been arrested in an undisclosed location, charged with plotting to blow up the country's smallest buildings, in a logical twist of scope. According to an anonymous high-ranking official, who pleaded with us not to reveal his identity, the suspects were planning on using ordinary sticks of chewing gum. The offical further declared, "we're not sure whether they were zeroing in on sand castles or those architects' models of new community projects, or maybe even model railroad enthusiasts." He went on further to say, "Hey, you remember the Mission Impossible movie, where the guy blew out that huge aquarium with a wad of Juicy Fruit? We can't be too careful." The three, Matt Ahari, Ignor Amos, and Jimmy Hamburger, were captured in a dollar store. Each were reported to have a buggy full of Big Red, and using a Swift bank account number to purchase the materials. If I were you, I wouldn't get a credit card from that company.

SEIG HEIL!! HEIL BUSH!!

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